Don't expect forgiving yourself to be a wizardly bullet. As said above, just because you forgive yourself, doesn't mean that those you've sinned against will forgive you. On top of that, it doesn't mean that you won't sometimes feel like a rat.
This is normal. This is your conscience revealing to you that what you did was wrong and you should feel blessed to have one. You'll never be pleased with your actions but, you can be at peace with them.
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